Sunday, 18 December 2011

“...What can I do, I’m so inspired by you, I haven’t been there for the longest time…”

Driving along one afternoon, while listening to our Ipod on shuffle and gushing about a recent short lived holiday fling, it came to me in a form of a song.
Although the guy was sexy as hell and an intellectual genius, it wasn’t the man I was missing. It was the inspiration and that “feeling” he brought back into my life.
You know the feeling. The feeling that everything is right, just the way you are. The you, you have to sometimes conceal when conversating with just any average Joe, or the side of you, you have to water down, as to not offend or sound like you know way too much. Even the “dad jokes” you have to stop yourself from telling, flow freely to an appreciative audience, no judgment, no blank stares, no bullshit.
Finally, I had met someone whose sense of humour was on par with mine, and trust me, this is no easy feat. Along with that, he was extremely intellectual and has a similar upbringing to mine resulting in practically identical values.

The vacation ended, together with the fling, leaving me feeling so empty and wondering why something that felt so magical could end so abruptly.

We were recently reminded of how we always say “No two people ever meet by accident”. Everyone you come across in your lifetime has a lesson for you and vice versa, whether it be a small reminder or a big wake up call.
We thought about this, and we tried to understand what it was about this one particular man that made such a huge impact on me in such a short amount of time.
I wanted more of that feeling, of those conversations and the inspiration to be a better person, take more pride in the knowledge I had accumulated and also the thirst to gain more.

Then this song, by Billy Joel came on… hence the opening quote.
I had felt so uninspired before he came along, he brought back this fire and it continues to burn now that he’s out of the picture.

So here’s what we’ve learned:
It is not always that person you need, but the inspiration they bring to you. Our minds gain so much knowledge everyday, sometimes without realizing it. The earth keeps turning, sometimes moving people away and bringing new ones closer.
Don’t hold onto things too tight, don’t look back. Hold onto that feeling you had with that person. Take on board the lessons you’ve learned from them and look forward to feeling those feelings again with a new person and look forward to brand new lessons you will no doubt learn.

As for me, I would love to see him again. Thanks to him, that spark inside me has been reignited and the passion for life I once thought I lost has been found again. I don’t know if it will work out, but…
“I’ll take my chances, I forgot how nice romance is, I haven’t been there for the longest time…”

…Til next time…xx

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

To Text or Not to Text?

The answer is NO.

This answer came to me in the form of a Facebook status comment. One girl on my friends list had posted: “to message or not to message?” to which a very wise friend of hers replied:

“A guy doesn’t “forget” he likes you. Put down the phone.”

Although it was not directed at me, it hit me like a frying pan to the face. I immediately put down my phone even though I wasn’t even texting at the time.

Stupid, stupid me, hours later, decided to ignore these words of wisdom and text him anyway. It was a simple “Hi, how are you” text.

I was preparing myself for the worst: no reply. Which was exactly what I got.

Lesson learned.

If he hasn’t even texted you by now, chances are he won’t again. He’s probably calling and texting his new “Flavor of the Month”, saying the same things said to sucker you in. You were not the first, and for now, you won’t be the last.

Do yourself a favor, keep your pride (and your heart) intact, and for goodness sake: put down that phone.

...til next time!

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

"'s not about the secrecy or the lies, everybody's got a secret to hide..."

"'s not about the secrecy or the lies; everybody's got a secret
to hide..."

In this case, we're talking about your number. Not your phone number, but the number of "partners" you've had.

A few of our friends have made the rookie mistake of divulging this confidential information in the early stages of their relationships against our advice. Big mistake. HUGE. Catastrophic, even.

Unless your "number" is below 5, don't do it! Trust us, you will pay.

He may pretend not to be fussed, IF you're lucky. Some of the not-so-lucky girls will see instant looks of disgust/horror/shock/dismissal.

See, men are creatures of pride. They don't want to be just the 79th (ok, ok, 21st) person to supposedly rock your world, or at least your bedposts (excluding futon owners, coz really, futons suck). Also, if your number is more than HIS number? Wow, you whore. No, I'm just kidding. But that's what he'll think. Guys like to feel like heroes, and nothing kills a future boner like a vision of having "conquered" a
land where many others have tread before.
Keep your number to a bare minimum, ladies. Keep it realistic though.
That's only if you want to tell.

What we've learned:
We stress again, NEED TO KNOW basis only! What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Unless it's an STD. Then you better get that shit checked out.

...til next time!

Saturday, 19 November 2011

"I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me..."

Come on, rise & shine!
Time to wake up!

No, put down your phone.
No, you don't need to check your facebook or Twitter. You have 5 new notifications on your facebook and you haven't looked at those yet so I know it's not THAT you're looking at.

Enough with the e-stalking!
You deleted him off your facebook and unfollowed him on Twitter.
What's that? You just want to see how he is? Well, sorry to rain on your parade, but if he wanted you to know, he would let you know.

You don't need to see his Facebook status about what he had for dinner, or see his tweets about "having a great workout". You don't need to drive yourself insane by wondering WHO he had that dinner with, or what kind of "workout" he had. (But, since we're on the subject: chocolate & ice cream is NOT dinner- eat a damn salad. And
when's the last time you had a workout of any kind, hmmm?)

Stop torturing yourself! He's not your facebook friend, Twitter
follower or in your REAL life for a reason. Remember that reason. How can you look forward to your future (and possible future dream man) if
you keep looking back?
Eyes on the prize!

So, what have we learned?
If he was meant to be around, he would be. He would also be your
facebook friend, Twitter follower and a FAN OF YOUR LIFE. Your real life.
Stop looking back, stop looking him up. Move forward. Eat healthier, go to the gym. Feel good about yourself.
Do something fun and worthwhile so you can update your social network page statuses AND your life.
From his new profile pic of him and a girl (who is not a relative),
he seems to have moved on. You should too.

... til next time!

When All is Said and Done... part II

The dress was bought...
The church was booked...
The bridal party was chosen...
The seating arrangements were planned...
The wedding was cancelled.

You move back home...
You're all alone...

What happens now?

All girls, early on in life, dream of meeting the one they could spend the rest of their lives with. We hope and pray we meet him sooner rather than later.

For us, that happened at 20 years old. We met them and a year later, we moved in. Three years later the wedding plans began. What we didn't see coming was that for us, there was no such thing as happily ever after. Even the "happily" part was difficult to imagine.

Skip ahead to present day. 5 years down the track.
The 20 year old, once so full of hope and fairytale dreams is now 25 and back at square one.
Only this time, the fairytale dreams are nothing but distant memories, and in their place are cynicism and a lack of faith in men. Scratch that, it's zero faith.

So, what now? Rebuilding a life you had left behind at 20 to go build
a brand new one with some guy you once believed was "the one" (*vomit*) is no easy feat. Actually, you have no idea where to begin.

We try and replace them with the first guys that pay us attention, only to find that these guys were the very same ones that made you feel grateful when you were in a relationship, when you believed there were no good single guys left.

The career path you once wanted but abandoned to be more "settled and realistic" is now harder to reach, due to your age and having to compete with people who were just like you, all those years ago.

In all our cynicism after meeting a "great" guys recently -who, mind you, turned out to be the most disappointing thus far- we shrugged it off and said "Easy come, easy go".
In response to this, a very smart lady said:
"Easy come, easy go: that's a fact of
life. What you have to do now is learn how to say 'NEXT'".

We took this in. She was right. Life is too short to dwell... Life's too short to be bitter. Rebuilding your life and relationships is never going to be easy, but sometimes, we have no choice but to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and move the f--- on.

And when it comes to relationships and guys...
All girls, early on in life, dream of meeting the one they could spend the rest of their lives with. We hope and pray we meet him sooner rather than later...
But now that we've met the ones we could possibly spend the rest of my life with, we can't wait to meet the ones we can't spend the rest of our lives without.

Til next time....

When All is Said and Done

Quick background on the DS girls.
-Both have been engaged
-Both changed their ways to become “perfect housewives”
Both felt trapped but had no legitimate reason to leave at the time
-Both cancelled their weddings and moved out
All this happened around the same time. Oh yes, brutal!

We both had gone through quite the ordeal.
Six months after we moved out, away from our ex-fiances and the toxic relationships, we decided it was time for a girls weekend. A “no holds barred” weekend if you will.
Drinks, pretty dresses and a fancy suite.
We got our hair and nails done, bought new shoes and outfits and prepared ourselves for the night that we hoped would be the start of our brand new lives.
And that’s exactly what went down.

We never realized how much we were held back while in our respective relationships. For the first time in a long time, our real selves, our original personalities before we were only so and so’s fianc├ęs- came back with a vengeance.

We were back.

The fiery personalities that were dulled down and replaced with a timid, stereotypical “wifey” persona came shining through. We felt alive again. We felt like our long lost selves.
We didn’t let loose in the sense that our pants came loose, but we no longer felt the need to hold back any aspect of our characters.

We met great people, and learned more about ourselves in that weekend than we had collectively learned in our separate 5 year relationships.
Hell, we even planned a holiday to Miami on the spot that night.

Invigorated by our new sense of freedom and adventure, we realized that if everyone else was going on adventures, it was our turn to create our own.

Mind you, in the next few days, whilst recovering from the crazy weekend, some who knew us as “so and so’s fiances” had witnessed parts of our first adventure that weekend.
And the backlash began.
Insults were hurled at us. We didn’t let this dampen our spirits. Instead, it fuelled it.

You know what we learned?
No matter what you do, you can’t please everyone. The best you can do? Be pleased with yourself. Do what makes you happy and those that love you will be happy for you. Your renewed sense of self and the new found confidence will shine through, making you more pleasant to be around.
Forget what they say about you.
These people still talk about us. In turn, we go on more crazy adventures, giving them more to talk about… and you know how?
We do what we do, and we have the time of our lives doing it.

No regrets, just adventures.